double speak

AAAAAAGH! as Charlie Brown would say. The principal calls an emergency faculty meeting this afternoon (finally) only to say absolutely nothing and take an obscene amount of time saying it. Instead of stating that Teacher X had been arrested for assault, he says, "I'm sure we're all aware of Teacher X's (pause) difficulties and that she and her family are in our thoughts and prayers." Talk about a euphemism. Then he goes on and on and on in his oh so typically inarticulate way to say that he doesn't know anything, that the reason we hadn't had a meeting earlier was because he didn't know anything, and that he still doesn't know anything but felt it only fair to share the nothing that he knows (or doesn't know?) with all of us. And that we should refrain from sharing with our students, or if we must, simply share that, like him, we know nothing. Right.

Then the intervention guy gets up to tell us that in situations like this rumors run rampant. Ya think? And that it would be a good idea to let the kids share the rumors that they have heard, to get it all out in the open. So Lesbian-Former-Coach brilliantly asks, "Okay, so we let them share all the rumors they've heard. Then what? You've just told us that we don't KNOW anything, so how do we correct any of the rumors they may have shared, how do we offer anything factual to them, if we don't KNOW anything? Or do we just let them share and perpetuate the rumors?" And intervention guy hems and haws and says, "Well, maybe it would be best if only Teacher X's classes actually discuss this in detail."

Next Principal Idiot reiterates, once again in response to Lesbian-Former-Coach, that all of his information is second and third hand, that if he had any first hand info appropriate to share, he would share it. What he doesn't know is that our Baby Dept. Head already told us that, in a conversation with Principal Idiot, Principal Idiot revealed that he had spoken directly with Teacher X this weekend, during which conversation she was in fact in jail and during which she professed her innocence and intent to plead not guilty. Would that not count as first hand? As Lesbian-Former-Coach succinctly expressed in an aside, "He just lied to me again."

It's so nice to be working in such an open, supportive environment.

the surreal life

Okay, I probably shouldn't be writing about this here, but since no one but me seems to ever access this blog, I guess I'm safe. One of the teachers at my school is now in the county jail for assaulting her eighty year old mother, allegedly with a hammer. The entire idea is mind-blowing to me. I've known this woman for years. She is a little batty, I'll admit. Okay, a lot batty. She has struggled with bipolar disorder since before I met her. She's intense and not entirely likable. But she is so driven, such a do-gooder, so over-involved in charity work, and, a really good teacher. So while she's always seemed a bit odd, she has certainly never appeared to be violent. The whole thing is surreal. I dreamed of scenarios last night that might have led her to do this horrendous thing. I find myself wondering what her relationship with her parents was like, if her upbringing contributed to her overall battiness. I feel so sorry for her--her life is ruined. I know I should be feeling sorry for her mom, who was airlifted to a local hospital. And I do. But I know this colleague, and I just am finding it hard to wrap my mind around her as a violent criminal. She's always seemed so unfortunate to me, the kind of person who works almost too hard and still never seems to catch a break. Maybe all those years of trying to please others finally culminated in this one terrible act.

the good, the bad, the ugly

The good:
I feel like I'm doing a really good job with my ninth graders, although it's driving me a little bit batty. I realized as I was defining literary analysis for them Thursday, that I've never had to define it before--incredible considering I've been teaching 18 years now. But most of that time was spent teaching upperclassmen who were familiar with the term. I do think, however, that all that time spent teaching upperclassmen has prepared me well for teaching the freshmen. I really KNOW what it is they need to be learning and I know all the things that they SHOULDN'T be taught because it just makes it so much harder for their later teachers to unteach it. Case in point: the 5 paragraph essay. I am working very hard at erasing the magical, mystical quality of the number 5 from their minds. It's not the concept of the essay and its organization I have problems with; it's the way the kids latch onto it as if it is THE formula for successful writing. It prevents them from thinking in terms of their actual content, and from tailoring the form to meet the needs of their content. All in all, the 5 paragraph format is not really functional in real world or college writing. All the arguments say it helps them learn to organize their ideas, but you don't have to use a certain number in order to do that. All they really need to know is beginning (with thesis), middle, and end. End of lecture.

The bad:
I am "friends" with a particular administrator at my school (i.e., I helped him with a particular task once that no one else wanted to do so he loves me now). I'm beginning to realize, however, that such friendship comes at a price.

He is in charge of conducting my evaluation this year, as he was last year. There are basically three levels one can achieve on the evaluation 1) does not meet standards (for those who sell drugs or openly sleep with their students); 2) meets standards and 3) exceeds standards. Up until last year, I have always been in the third category, exceeds standards. However, beginning last year, all sorts of additional documentation and hoop-jumping was added to the exceeds standards criteria. This additonal work requires more of me, but also more of my evaluator (are you starting to see the picture?) This is work my evaluator flatly does not want to do. He also sees nothing wrong with a "meets standards" rating. Hence the dilemma: do you antagonize your evaluator by requiring him to do extra work? It seems an impossible situation. I don't particularly want to do the extra work either, but it is a matter of pride. I know that I do EXCEED STANDARDS. And yet, I have gotten real pressure from this administrator to make life easier on us both by not striving for the higher ratiing. To me, it feels like a lose-lose situation.

The ugly:
If only I had taken a picture of my desk to post here. I am drowning in paperwork. I have buckets of homework to score on To Kill a Mockingbird, reflective essays to grade and yearbook deadline is next Fri. I was at work until 7 last night, till 6 the night before, and till 6:30 Mon. And that was just to deal with yearbook. None of that time was spent planning or grading for my ninth graders. Thurs. I got home a little before 7 and ended up grading until 10. And I didn't even make a dent. Where's the light at the end of this?

meeting hell

Wow, this last week has been overwhelming. I kept meaning to write here, but I've been so busy. I've been staying so late at work as yearbook gets increasingly intense and behind, I feel like my name ought to be on most of the pages so far. Plus, the work is piling in from my ninth graders and I'm hitting that wall where I don't have time to grade because I'm too busy with yearbook.

Yesterday was the superlative field trip. After it was all over, I came home and took an hour and a half nap. And still I was able to sleep last night. I used to enjoy that field trip every year, but now it just feels like one more opportunity to screw up and get blamed for something by this administration. Luckily, everything went well--no mishaps. But I'm so relieved the whole thing's over.

My ninth grade classes have been going well. We're studying To Kill a Mockingbird now--a great novel, but teaching it is new to me. Tomorrow their reflective essays come in. My lesson introducing the essay last week went so well it was scary--I actually felt excited afterwards. Let's hope their products are just as good.

Today was early release day--meetings, meetings and more meetings. Jesus. The last one was over 90 minutes and didn't end till almost 5:30. I'm so very tired of MEETINGS!